Porn is love you can see.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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