im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
