I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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