I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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