Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
