he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
