what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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