my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I had to cum in my sink.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
