i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
