i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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