I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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