I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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