I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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