i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
do nipples grow back?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
