I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
