It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
