I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize