he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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