I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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