Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
