the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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