hotel room ftw
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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