Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
