READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
