You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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