Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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