fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize