I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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