her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
