Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
