2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Where is the hickey?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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