what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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