people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
