By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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