A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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