and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
