a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
