The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
