Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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