You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
