I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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