He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
