Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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