Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
