did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
