Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
