he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
