did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
