Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize