I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
