Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
