oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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