Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
