Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
