Where is the hickey?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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