mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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