i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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