You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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