I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
