She's JV to your varsity
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
