I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
