Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
