This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
