Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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