This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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